Run #1081 - The Jiggle Belle Run Part II

December 16, 2002

Hares: Mum, Twisted Sister
Where: Bruskeys Pub, 6534 - 4 Street NE
Attendance: 62

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It was a warm and Blistering evening. Suddenly a horn bleated.

Due to the intense relationships between the scribes and the hares we will now declare this the best run on a December 16, 2002 ever! (Sorry Smirk)

You know it will be a great run when...

• The scribes are sleeping with the hares. (Well, sometimes sleeping, snoring, lying in bed listening to snoring, bedroom gymnastics and generally loving every minute of it.)
   
• The scribes and the hares are the same people.
   
• The scribes chase the hares, trying to get into their new sweat pants with bells on.
   
• Best trails are always when refreshments are present on trail
   
• The scribes enjoy drinking beer when writing this page
   
• When there are lots of shortcuts and Skewbic and Krusty still come in whipped, shaken, but not stirred
   
• December has better weather than June and it is December 16
   
• When Jiggle Belles are abound on Trail
   
• When the hares use the same measuring device to determine the length of the trail as Hares use to tell Harrierettes "this is 6 inches"
   
• Lastly, when the Hares tell us it is the best run ever!!! (More on pussy whipping later)
   

After explaining the marks, the Hares with their expert wit, cunning, and superior intellect (pw) had the pack so confused that:

• Knob Slinger swears that he ran to the top of Nose Hill
   
• Krusty ran to Balzac and reports back that there are no drinking establishments there
   
• Skewbic Hare reports that he broke through the thin ice on Nose Creek and has displayed wet, grey, muddy wet shoes as proof.
   
• Mucky Dip says that Skewbic Hares med's need adjusting and that he just has extremely sweaty feet.
   
• Ben Wa (no balls attached) went walking not knowing where she was going, where she was, or where she had been
   
• Wet One hit a check back, ran through it, and then gave an innocent teenager an F on his report card
   
• Air Brakes ended up on a trail by himself and reported numerous UFO sightings. Neon Stripper corrected Air Brakes and shattered his close encounter by pointing out the proximity of the airport.
   
• All the dogs from the "Dog Hash" were seen dragging their owners south, while in hot pursuit of a "live real" hare on trail
   
• Beaver Flats, TNT, ACD, and Tiny Bubbles reported enjoying their walk while discussing how envious and slighted they felt at not being recognized as Jiggle Belles
   
• King Shit stated how much he enjoyed a warm December run without having to shove a plastic bag down the front of his pants to protect his private Jiggle Balls
   
• Pole Vault remarked he always enjoys watching belles jiggle. Hare of the Dog smacked him for being fresh.
   
• Mydol was running slower than normal due to all of his holes being filled this past weekend.
   
• Burning Bush was recovering from consuming 50 shooters Saturday night after seeing every eligible 40 year old bachelor hitting on her twin 19 year old daughters
   
• Trail Tripper & The Bawdy, showing off their new tan lines, expressed surprise that the banana trees were not blooming in the great northern waste land as they are down south.
   
• Lumber Jack, just as the run started, realized that he needed more gifts for his newly discovered family. Seeing that the Canadian Tire was open he left the pack screaming while running to the east. P'Tooie reported that after the run, he saw L.J. stumbling back to his truck, clutching many white bags with red triangles on them.
   
• Bum Titty & Pool Boy Ron were cut off after having 8 helpings of eggnog at the regroup.
   
• Right Bun remarked that just because you have Jiggle Belles, doesn't mean you have to be a check chicken.
   
• Hot on Trail told Whale Wanker that for his next analversary he will be getting a larger pair of shorts due to his almost melodious bleating on his horn.
   
• ____________ was seen _______________ing while ___________________________________ on trail (insert your name and what you did if not mentioned above)
   

The Down Downs:

Neon Stripper and Knobby conducted the Religious Ceremony trying to yell over a chorus of "Stand Up!" They awarded awards, punishments, and recognition to the following:

• Hares: Twisted Sister and Mum
   
• New Boots, Archives & Visitors : ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ (don't you remember?)
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• ________________________ for __________________________
   
• Wet One for 300 runs.
   
• Lumber Jack for 400 runs. (That's 7,286 bottles of Kokanee Beer.)
   
• Smirk for 450 runs.
   

• Sexual Offenses
   
• ________________ and ______________ for masturbating each other (this was a recognized offense)
   
• ________________ and ______________ was well as ________________ and ___________________ for excessive ________________ing on trail (also recognized)
   
• The close relationship between the Hares & Scribes - but not cross close relationshiped (not recognized)
   

Signed

Your "Yes Dear" pussy whipped ( and loving it) scribes,

B>Hardly & Dreary

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