Run #1029 - The Truth about Karaoke Night!

January 14, 2002

Hares: King Shit, Lost In Space
Where: Hannibal's Pub, 708 - 16 Av NW
Attendance: 72

Click here for Photos!

This is my first attempt at scribing, so if you don't like what I write, tough shit. I have discovered that the best part about this job is that I don't have to tell you about all of my embarrassing stuff from the evening. (webmaster's note: a picture is worth a thousand words)

The night started out innocently enough. We circled up in the chilly temperatures in the parking lot outside of Hannibal's where announcements were made and the new boots, Connie, Doreen and Gene, were introduced. I think there was one more new boot (possibly somebody named John), but I can't remember. There were some archives too, but since I am a virgin scribe, I forgot to write down their names. Yeah, yeah, so far I suck at this job! Krusty was asked to quit stealing people's dogs since they have to stay at the BOP, but somebody made the wise suggestion that if we gave him enough dogs, they might actually slow him down. Our hares, King Shit and Lost in Space came into the circle to explain the marks and it should also be noted that the bastards neglected to put checks anywhere along the trail, only check backs. Yeah - this promised to be fun.

Anyway, we started off on a good trail that led us though the extremely icy streets and then to a playground where Dreary was spotted doing some swinging. I wonder if Mum knows about this??? The trail continued through the dark streets and into Confederation Park. Eventually, it led to a regroup at King Shit's house where there was hot chocolate and a rather large bottle of rum.

As for tales from the trail, I was told that Hot on Trail was looking for something in Kawky's pants. Whether or not she actually found something in there was not revealed. Also, Eau Naturel was heard telling somebody about the trusty boys from Telus and how they fixed her box.

Back at Hannibal's, King Shit was seen stripping. However, the effort proved not very profitable because nobody would tip him, though I believe somebody offered him money to put his clothes back on. The choir of On In, Mouthful, Dreary and Blow No Evil was appointed and the festivities began. The down downs were as follows:

• The hares, obviously.

• Dolly (who apparently made his last appearance about a year ago) was celebrating 250 runs.

• Icedickle and My Little Pony both received the brew since they had a 69, but Hot On Trail had to finish off for My Little Pony and Icedickle decided to share with his "dickle" since he poured his remaining beer into his pants rather than over his head.

• Shuttle Cock claimed never to have had a legitimate down down, so the lovely Right Bun decided to give him one for the hell of it.

• Yours truly and Bruce were cited for a sexual offence, apparently I was seen going down and Bruce almost went down, but did not finish the job (Typical Man!).

• Strawberry Secret was appropriately chastised for being in such a rush to get to the Hash that she was rewarded with a $232.00 speeding ticket for doing 150 on the Deerfoot. Rumour had it she was fast, but really.

• We can't forget Smirk, who on this night of nights was celebrating 400 runs with the Hash. The choir serenaded him with the assistance of Wet One and he proceeded to suck his half yard quite efficiently.

• King Shit was awarded the brand spankin' new Hash Shit for not mentioning the fact that part of the trail was marked with flagging until halfway through the freakin' run! Then he went around the bar poking women for the rest of the evening with the thing sticking out of his shorts.

Nothing embarassing happened!

After the down downs wrapped up, the real fun began. Karaoke baby! Smirk and King Shit were "Strokin", Dreary was "Born to be Wild", Pull It and Quick to Swallow performed a touching duet of "All By Myself". One Nut Sue and his bevy of babes, namely Deb (who, by the way, needs a damn name) and myself were heading to the "Love Shack" Baby! The Evils sang something too and later in the evening Pull It was once again on stage, though not only was she singing, but according to One Nut, she was also flashing her headlights.

At one point during a song, Eats His Own revealed his perky buttocks to the crowd, along with two other cohorts, but frankly I am so traumatized by what I saw, I have apparently blocked out the horrible memory and forgotten who he has up there with.

Tiny Bubbles, Whale Wanker and Sir H. were seen dancing at various times throughout the evening, sometimes even with female hashers. Blazing Straddle and Sarah proved to have talent as a back up singers and are apparently still virgins (can somebody please help them out?).

Eau Naturel was injured during a dance move gone wrong when Icedickle dropped her. Boy, this Karaoke thing is a dangerous passtime.

Contestants

Also taking centre stage at various times were Sorry, Choir Boy (who apparently enjoys wearing women's underwear), Big Salad and Wet One (and I have to say, I enjoyed Wet One's unauthorized additions to the lyrics of "Summer Nights")

As an aside, if you are missing your hat and/or gloves, they were in One Nut's pants during his Tom Jones impersonation. Nobody will blame you if you don't want them back.

The lovely bar maid offered two free pitchers of beer to the winners of a "contest", at which point an event, hereinafter referred to as the "Great Canadian Suckoff", began. Hash Test Dummy was seen kneeling in front of Whale Wanker and sucking something between his legs, then they switched and it was his turn to do the sucking.

A fabulous time was had by all, and when I decided to pack it in, there were a few hard core Karaoke loving hashers still there. God bless 'em.

On On!

Ringadangadoo

Click here for Photos!