When I got to the Bow Valley Centre 10 minutes before the appointed Hashing Hour, there were already 15 Hashers there. The group of oddly dressed weird people, some shorts, some pants, some leggings, some spandex, grew to a group of around 45 Hashers. Hare of the Dog was overheard before the run saying that she had stretched and massaged Pole Vault, and it really works. (I wonder what else happened after).

Being the nosey scribe that I am, I wanted to know where the On In was going to be. I asked Dastardly, our hare for the evening, and he mumbled something to the tune of Bonsierra Sports Bar.

The Hash Horn circled us up, and our illustrious, stretched Hash Master, Pole Vault, asked for any new boots. Jack was brave and came to the centre. Archives were called upon next, Stranger, and Visitors, Yabba Dabba Do, not Jeremy. The rest of the Hash introduced themselves. Announcements were made, Halloween Run, something else, and Lap Dog's 40th Birthday and Retirement Party Nov 21, at his Love Abode.

Dastardly was introduced, and he showed us an unusual array of markings. A blob of flour was on, a circle was a check, (so far so clear) an "x" was a falsie, (new term) two lines meant the trail went in any direction between lines and check, (clear as mud) a NB meant near beer, (a cheer from the Hash), a VNB meant very near beer, (another cheer), and BC was a beer check. The Hash was pointed to the West.

The Hash headed off to the West across the parking lot. We then came to a check, and we continued up a hill to the West. It was a falsie. We then went back to the check and followed the road down the hill to Memorial. I was told that the run weaved in and out of the neighbourhood, with the marks being hard to find. The pack took care of each other, because the Hare was not sweeping (hash shit). We Were later informed that he is a Vancouver Hasher, and they never sweep the runs. Everyone made it to the BC, and there were copious amounts of beer there. I did not do the actual run, because I had to keep Hardley and Pole Vault in line. They are both injured, and I didn't want them to end up in a bar somewhere. The three of us were the first to the beer check, and we waited about 10 minutes when Dastardly showed up with a cooler of beer. The cops and two fire engines decided to pull up at the same time. We managed to evade the cops, but were waiting to the helicopter to show up and spoil our Beer Check. The pack took a long time in cumming to the beer check, and we figured that they had said "Piss on this" and went back to the cars. Low and behold the first Hasher to the Beer Check as Bag lady and Bag o' Poo. We waited 5 minutes and the Skewbic Hare slowly walked up to us, he thought we were a group of drunken Indians. Then I went with Bag lady back to the cars, because we were both freezing. The pack beat us to the cars, because the ran straight back, and we walked.

At the On In, Hare of the Dog was overheard again, saying the run was Dastardly, (very original) and hard to see markings. Cock Tail, (the true hasher) said the run was awesome, very scenic. Dreary said he tried to see if keys were left in a back hoe, but the mud was too deep, so he gave up.

Down Downs

Jack, new boot, not Jeremy, visitor from Ontario, and Yabba Dabba Doo, were given the traditional brother hashers.

Sister Maria - Not having fun on the run. Much too serious. Why was he born.

Airbrakes - for being socially unsociable. He inhaled the beer in two large gulps.

Lumberjack (interrupted by Airbrakes having a large burp) that's what you get form owned a bar Airbrakes.

Back to Lumberjack - Whining about people racing of the Hash run. He was wagging his finger back and forth to the RA. He was given a water, he then gave us the finger, then he said that the RA was the one that wanted to race up the hill. He gave the RA beer and changed his to beer.

Knobby - for running faster up a hill that Skewbic Hare.

Jack, not Jeremy and Furry Thing - for rabbiting, not paying attention to the RA and other hash offences. They all got water down downs.

Cums Clean - gone again, missed his down down.

Kawky Whorer - was handed his beer and asked for something smaller, what a whiner. Downed for spreading rummers, to RA no less, that two unnamed hashers had gotten engaged without permission from the RA. Could it be ________ and _________, or __________ and __________, I have a great idea, it is Hardley and Twisted Sister, now they will be legal and so will the little Hardley Twisteds We sang the Sexual Life Of A Camel.

Jennifer - for being out two weeks in a row. She likes us so much she had to cum again. That we here new name, almost, we named here Cums Twice. I hope we don't have to rename her every week.

Shack Shock - for a fashion offence, incorrigible behaviour, and sucking up to the RA

Skewbic Hare - took a beer from the table of RA beer's and called on on

On on until next time, your trusty scribe

Twisted Sister, Twistee, Twisted One, Always Twisted

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